This, This Close
by TheVampireLucinda
Summary: "This, this close I'm watching you...Why, why are we only friends? No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are...they don't reach you. You don't understand... I'm so in love with you." One-Shot. Complete! Featuring Hiroshi Tanahashi (who needs a character tag!), and Shinsuke Nakamura.


**Title** : This Close

 **Author** : TheVampireLucinda

 **Featuring** : Hiroshi Tanahashi/Shinsuke Nakamura

 **Disclaimer** : Slash! Rated T, just to be safe!

 **Summary** : This, this close I'm watching you...Why, why are we only friends? No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are...they don't reach you. You don't understand... I'm so in love with you." One-Shot. Complete!

 _A/N: Nakamura and Tanahashi are one of my newest, strongest OTPs... And I don't know why, but all of my Tana stories always end up from his POV! Is he in my head?!_

* * *

 _I was the first one to use the word "love."_

 _It was a mistake, I'll admit. Or, rather, it was too soon. But I couldn't keep on pretending._

 _You were standing there, looking like the child of a god. I couldn't stop staring at you that night, as you stood fearlessly in front of me._

 _I used the word_ jealousy _before. And that was true, to some extent. I envied you. I hated you, in a way. You were just so..._ you _. Like the Sun, or the Moon, or a distant star. I was enraptured._

 _And we were rivals. And we were friends. And there was something else there, but we both kept ignoring it until I just couldn't take it anymore._

 _You always were stronger than me._

 _Shinsuke, how did you pretend for so long? I know you felt it too, even though you feigned disinterest. I could see the spark in your eyes when our gazes met. And you forget, my friend, my love, that when we're in the ring together, I can feel the beat of your heart._

 _It races, just like mine._

 _I used the word "love" first._

 _It was more an outburst than a confession, given that it was spoken so randomly, so loudly. You were visibly startled, and then genuine fear set into your beautiful features. I felt horrible, and yet I knew it was the right thing to do._

 _Because, you see, my dear rival, I had fallen so completely in love with you._

 _That day is etched into my soul. The way you flinched when I told you I loved you...I don't even remember where we were, only the expression on your face._

 _I may have used the word "love" first, but you, Shinsuke, were the first to run away._

 _That was the pattern over the years, wasn't it? Confession, escape, and then the inevitable return._

 _The very first night that you entered my room after I spilled my heart...Words fail me. I was stunned, elated, terrified...Somehow, I felt the urge to run away myself._

 _And you didn't use the word_ love _yet. "I don't know what to do," you admitted simply, and then your lips were on mine, and I was desperately pulling down your tight pants, and you were moaning into my mouth and trying to suffocate me with your passion._

 _It all happened so fast. And it kept happening. We were and were not lovers._

 _And yet, only I could use the word for so long. But the Heavens know I used it every time I felt it._

 _But you held out. For all these years._

 _It almost slipped out once, after we woke up side-by-side for the first time in two years. I could see it in your eyes, hear it in your trembling voice. Your fingers were so gentle, and shook just a little as they traced a path through my hair._

 _"Tana..."_

 _I kissed you to shut you up, because I was scared as hell too._

 _And now, here we are. I've got one more night with you, before you leave to the other side of the world._

 _As big of a fool as I think you are...I know that I am a much bigger one._

((()))

Shinsuke had rarely seen Hiroshi standing still in all the years he'd known him. Yet, now, here was the man, motionless as a stone, staring out at the well-lit landscape. No telling what his thoughts were. But if Nakamura had to guess...

So many memories and thoughts were crowding his own mind that he couldn't take it anymore. Tomorrow was his flight to America, and he didn't know if he'd see Tanahashi any time soon. He lay awake in his bed for hours, until, at last, he knew what he had to do.

Of course, Hiroshi could be found at the city limits, looking at the lights as he often did.

Hesitantly, Shinsuke reached out, until his hand rested on Tana's strong shoulder. The older man flinched ever-so-slightly at the sudden contact, but immediately relaxed once he realized who it was.

"Shinsuke," he began, softly, sadly, but with a smile. "Shinsuke Nakamura." He didn't turn around. He didn't have to. Tanahashi simply placed his hand over his friend's.

"I will miss you," the One-in-a-Century Man said with great conviction. "Give them all of Shinsuke. Become a star across the sea, and I will be a star over here, and we will light the Heavens together."

Shinsuke nodded. There was only one thing left to be said.

But Tanahashi beat him to it, as he always did. "Shinsuke, I—"

With a rush of emotion, Shinsuke stepped forwards and embraced Hiroshi from behind, pressing their bodies together in a desperate hug, breathing in the scent of Tana's long hair as the older man fell silent.

"Please." His voice was barely a whisper, arms tightening around Hiroshi's waist.

This might be the last chance. All these years; and, now, only one chance.

 _Why did I wait so long?_

"Forgive me," Shinsuke said brokenly, through a thin veil of tears.

"Tana... _I love you, too_."

 _The truth is, the truth is I always loved you_

 _Always, always, I kept loving you_

 _To you, to you I want to send these feelings_

 _I whisper them to the blue sky_

 _I'm so in love with you_

* * *

 _The End!_

 _Ahhh, Tana and Shinsuke do something to my heart every time..._

 _Review?_

 _Also, fun fact: The title and ending quote is borrowed from the song"Konna ni Chikaku de..." from one of my favorite anime ever,"Nodame Cantibile!"_


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